Alright New Line, it’s time to get on the phone. Somebody option this book:

Whales on Stilts! Tell me this doesn’t have the makings of a sequel to Snakes on a Plane written all over it? They’re whales, and they’re on stilts! How did they get the stilts? How did they get up onto the stilts? How are they surviving out of the water? Who attached freaking laser beams to their heads? If this book is anything like Snakes on a Plane, these questions will be left mostly unanswered… but it looks like a hell of a ride!

From the description:

The trio soon learns that Larry does indeed plan to conquer the world using mind-controlled whales on stilts with laser-beam eyes. No adult will believe them, so it’s up to the kids to save the Earth.

I know what I want for my next birthday.